I have suffered with depression since my early teenage years (I'm now in my forties). Some days I was moody, sensitive, irritable, and hated the...Read More
I have suffered with depression since my early teenage years (I'm now in my forties). Some days I was moody, sensitive, irritable, and hated the world. Other days, I was on cloud nine, talking a mile a minute, laughing at myself, and pretty silly. This pattern continued through my twenties. With each of my children (I have 4), I would deal with postpartum depression. As I got older, I just thought that this behavior and these feelings were normal for me. I figured I would deal with them for the rest of my life.
In September 2014 things got really bad. I had decided that my family was better off without me, and that I would just leave. To this point in my life, I had never contemplated suicide, I just knew that my family would be better off if I were to leave. In desperation, my husband called a close friend and nurse and asked her to please come and get me. He didn't know what to do. Long story short, I was diagnosed with bipolar II, and started the exhausting journey of finding medications that would work for me. I spent the next 4 years searching, trying, rejecting, having reactions, breaking out in soars, gaining a large amount of weight, weighing the pros and cons of side effects, questioning every decision, and just wishing SOMETHING could help me!
In late 2017, I found myself questioning the value of life. I didn't necessarily want to die, I just wanted relief. I needed a way out. These thoughts continued well into the summer of 2018. At this time, I found myself thinking more and more about ending it all. I even came up with a plan. I couldn't fathom spending the rest of my life feeling this way. It was too much. It was too hard. I couldn't think of any other way out.
A friend had sent me information about ketamine treatments. I did a quick internet search, and wasn't completely convinced. But, in September of 2018 I posted something on Facebook that really worried this friend. She contacted me and said, "You NEED to try this." I talked to my husband and figured I had nothing to lose. I left for Boise a week later. I spent a week in Boise getting the initial 6 treatments. After the very first of these treatments, I facetimed my husband, and he couldn't believe the difference. I was talking more clear. My eyes were brighter...and best of all, I no longer felt like dying. I couldn't believe the feeling of hope that I had. I didn't dare hope or believe that this treatment could actually make a difference. I've never been so happy to be wrong. By the end of my initial 6 treatments, I was headed home. My friend noticed the difference in me from the trip to Boise and the trip from Boise. My husband and children were in awe of the changes. They were experiencing a "Becky" they hadn't seen in YEARS! My anxiety was almost non-existant, and my PTSD symptoms improved tremendously.
I don't want to be misleading in any way. I still deal with symptoms from bipolar, PTSD, and anxiety, but I'm able to cope. I've been off anxiety medication for over 3 months. I've had 2 boosters (1 just to make sure I was okay for the holidays). I have good days and bad days, but the bad days no longer consume me. I allow myself to have those bad days, and don't beat myself up for them. I recover from triggers much sooner than before.
I will forever be grateful to my friend, Nykol, and Boise Ketamine Clinic and now Mindful Infusions -Blanding for giving me this new outlook on life. I may have bipolar forever, but it doesn't have ME!Read Less
It was about five years ago that I first noticed that something was wrong. I was scared and didn't know what to do to help my wife. I have been ...Read More
It was about five years ago that I first noticed that something was wrong. I was scared and didn't know what to do to help my wife. I have been continuing to learn more about her illness over the years, with little to no hope of things ever improving. My wife is a fighter and has taken the time to help others that are struggling with the same illness. About September of this year she reached an all time low. A close friend of my family noticed a post on Facebook from my wife, and recognized it was a cry for help. When my wife talked to me about the Ketamine treatment, I was reluctant at first but was willing to try anything at this point. She left for 6 days to the Boise clinic, and I just prayed that it would help a little bit. After the first treatment, she called and even though she was out of it I could tell the improvement. It was way more than I thought possible. Each day she improved more and more. I feel like we have traveled back in time five years and I have my wife back. It is not perfect, she still has an illness, but she is managing it. There is hope where there was not any before. I will support my wife getting this treatment for the rest of my life, and will be forever grateful for my friends sharing Ketamine treatment with us.Read Less